Love Hurts
by NoDoubtFan
Summary: During times like this he remembers why he abandoned love long ago; love always hurt in the end. John/Team


**Love Hurts**

**Yes, I am back almost 11 months after I posted my last fanfic. Life has been so hectic (in both good an bad ways), that I just haven't had the time to write. I was looking through my harddrive today though and I found this beauty that I hadn't finished so I figured that I would do so and post it because I miss SGA so **_**friggin**_** much right now that it hurts. I miss these characters so I figured that I had to write about them in order to ease my longing to see them on screen together again. Since John is my favorite character, I wanted to write about him, and I figured why not write about him and the team because I love them all so much =] **

**Disclaimer: don't own Atlantis.**

**x.o.x**

John Sheppard didn't believe in love. Love was a foreign, distant emotion that he abandoned long ago. Love was flying because that was all he had.

He resented his father, exiled himself from his brother, and disliked Nancy. Love didn't exist, at least not for him. He didn't even have flying anymore.

That was before he met _them_. Before he knew that there was life beyond Earth, beyond the demons engraved in his past.

There was Atlantis. The beautiful city that turned his life around. The city whose ocean blue walls and never-ending mysteries had created a fracture in the wall surrounding his heart. The city that opened him up to an unlimited number of possibilities. The city that actually made him _feel_.

He started the mission to Atlantis with no expectations, no desire to ever return to Earth because well, there was nothing left for him on Earth. His family, his wife, his career had all abandoned him. Dying in a distant galaxy didn't scare him. Not even the slightest. The idea only made him more enticed to explore.

That was before _them_.

Now he had something, _someone_ to fight for. People he would die for in a second because he loved them so unconditionally.

Yes, _love_.

There was Rodney. The astrophysicist with 3 Ph.D's who was rude, sarcastic, overbearing, fast-talking, and not to mention _unbearable_. This was the man who just happened to save his life on an almost daily basis (even though he hates to admit it). Most people couldn't be in a room for two seconds with him. He was just that way. He turned people off, and that's just how he was. But he loved him for it. Behind the science and sarcasm was a man who actually cared about the few people that were able to get close to him. As much as he hated to admit it, he and Rodney were the same deep down. Hard to read, but once deciphered, very easy to decode. He loved him for being the best friend that he never had, and for being one of the few people to never abandon him.

Then there was Ronon. Ronon aka Chewie who had captured and attempted to kill him the first time they met. Ronon who barely talked (he grunted most of the time), and who could kick his ass blind folded in a sparring match. Ronon, the man who would sacrifice his life for him, and his other teammates. The man who wasn't afraid to go down fighting, who wasn't afraid to give it all for those he loved. He envied him for his dedication, but loved him for it at the same time. While Ronon was completely in debt to John for giving him a chance and giving him a life away from running, he felt that Ronon embodied everything he could ask for in a teammate; completely loyal, trustworthy, and always being there no matter what.

Teyla: the first _alien_ that he had ever encountered. At first he figured if all aliens looked like Teyla, he would enjoy this mission just a little more than he had planned. But as soon as he got to know her though, he soon saw that behind that hard exterior that she had to put out in order to be a successful leader to her people, was a kind and simply devoted person. He didn't even see her as alien anymore because around her he felt the basic human emotions that he hadn't felt in the longest time; love, comfort, and calmness. He voice was so soothing, even when she was yelling at him for some reason. When she was captured, the only thing John could think of was getting her back to him because the thought of Michael keeping her and hurting her was too much for him to bear. It was after he had thought he lost her that he realized that he may have _loved_ her. But not like he loved Rodney or Ronon; love like when a man loves a woman. Still, he hasn't told her because of the fact that she now has a son with another man. Just another heartbreak for him to push to the side.

Then there was Elizabeth. Dr. Elizabeth Weir who was the fearless and first leader of the Atlantis Expedition. Sure, she came off as a cold hearted bitch, but he could see right through that. She loved Atlantis, loved the crew that worked directly for her even if she rarely expressed it. He could be the same way sometimes and he loved her for it, respected her for it because well, he could never do her job. Never be able to trust people to do their job right and succeed. She had faith in people, whether they were her friend or her enemy. Whether she liked or disliked a person. He loved her for her faith in others. For the faith she had in him.

But now she was gone. Just a distant memory in his brain. He would never speak to her or ever hear her stern voice again. During times like this he remembers why he abandoned love long ago; love always hurt in the end.


End file.
